Saturday, September 27, 2003

Saturday morning musings

Good morning all,   not much to say today.  My dad is at Long Island Jewish Hospital getting a blood transfusion today.  He has cancer.  I think he's on his way to his heavenly reward.   I'm sad about it but I'm also confused.  I'm going to see him to offer my strength but I feel weird because he never apologized for molesting me when I was sixteen.  He destroyed the best friendship I have ever had with a man and all I have done was love him.  I don't mean to be selfish because the man is sick and dying but damn, all he had to do was say that he loved me and that he was sorry.   I can see that it will never happen and that I have to be the dutiful daughter and just let it go but man, I hurt.

In other news, I have no idea whats going on at East Ninth Street in the LES and maybe its just as well.   I miss that guy though but as I said before my bedroom is a mess.  I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others.  Especially others who are rejecting me anyway.

MESSAGE OF THE DAY:    LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

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